


I‘ve seen this film before and I didn’t like the ending

by Juleatic



Category: Pocket Monsters: Sword & Shield | Pokemon Sword & Shield Versions
Genre: Alcohol Mentions, Angst, Cheating, Emotions, M/M, Mild Cursing, Neutral Ending, Not Beta Read, Past Relationship(s), Sad, Time Skips, and this is exhibit a why communication is important, but also not a sad ending, dealing with heartbreak, not really a happy ending?, slightly depressive
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-27
Updated: 2020-07-27
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:48:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,754
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25549252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Juleatic/pseuds/Juleatic
Summary: Getting over a heartbreak is always hard.
Relationships: Dande | Leon/Kibana | Raihan, Side Kibana | Raihan/Nezu | Piers
Comments: 8
Kudos: 28





	I‘ve seen this film before and I didn’t like the ending

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so I listened to T.Swifts new album and inspiration hit me. This song was written to "Exile" so if you want, you can listen to it while reading! Makes the hearbreak worse, I promise ;'D 
> 
> Comments are very much appreciated! <3 (I need that sweet validation...)

**_Day 27_ **

Leon was standing in the corner of the huge ballroom of Hammerlocke Castle, taking a sip of his wine. As always, it didn’t taste particularly good but once he drank enough, he wouldn’t mind anyway. Eventually the pain he felt would also subside and for a few hours he could pretend to be happy. Could act as though nothing had ever happened. That he was still the champion. That he still had –

His thoughts were interrupted by one of the League sponsors. Leon flashed his best – fake – smile at him and patiently answered all of the woman’s questions. Sometimes his gaze wandered around the room, but his attention didn’t suffer from it. At least not until his eyes landed on _them_. Time seemingly had stopped as Leon’s smile fell from his lips and his heart burst in his chest. Then he noticed that he had been holding his breath just like the rest of the room. They were late to the party, but of course Galar’s new celebrity couple made sure to make an entrance. All eyes were on them. It made him feel sick.

“Please excuse me for a second.”, Leon said after gaining some of his composure back and downing the rest of his drink in one go. He didn’t wait for an answer, before hastily making his way to the bathrooms. His gaze briefly met _their_ gazes, but he pretended to not have noticed. He didn’t need their pity. Didn’t need them shoving their happiness down his throat. Didn’t need to know that it would never be Leon who made _him_ feel happy. Maybe if he pretended their smiles weren’t genuine. That their laughter was faked. Maybe it would make him feel better. But he actually didn’t want to see _him_ unhappy. Leon still loved _him_. Even after he had shattered his heart into pieces, left him dead and backstabbed inn the mud outside. After everything, he still loved _him_. He had always loved _him_. Even when _he_ hadn’t been able to see it at the time.

Leon almost didn’t make it to the toilet. Almost. Luckily, he was able to hold it down a few more seconds. But then he vomited. All of the contents of his stomach, but it didn’t stop at that. He was still gagging, his back bent over the toilet seat and his hands holding onto it for dear life. Nothing came out anymore, but his stomach was still cramping up, forcing him to stay just where he was. Tears started building up in the corners of his eyes – and Leon honestly didn’t know if it was from the vomiting or because of all the build up feelings inside. Anyway, he let it all out. Loud sobs left his body, he was shaking, and his breathing started going ragged. He thought back to all the moments they spent together. Happy. Satisfied. Where had they gone wrong? What had happened between them for it to end that way? It was Leon’s fault, he knew. Maybe he would’ve seen it coming had he spent more time listening to _him_. Maybe he could’ve prevented it some way or another. But none of that mattered now. They were over and done with and Leon was left alone. With nothing left, but regrets and what-ifs.

He didn’t know how much time had passed, when he had finally calmed down and left the stall. Looking into the mirror he realized he looked every bit as horrible as he felt, and it wouldn’t be any use for him to stay at the party any longer. His eyes were red and puffy, tried tear traces were all over his face and his hair was a complete disaster he didn’t even need to mention. It was best for him to get out of here as soon as possible. Nobody could see him like this.

“Dude, you okay?”

Leon jumped in surprise; his eyes wide in shock. Luckily it was Milo and not some journalist or League sponsor.

“Yeah I’m fine. Just… need to get out of here.”, he lied but his voice betrayed him, and he had to bite his lips to not break into tears again. He was so weak. How did he manage to be the champion for so long anyway?

“I’ll order a Flying Taxi for you and wait with you, ‘kay?”, Milo offered and squeezed Leon’s shoulder in a gesture of support. They left the bathroom together and made their way outside, Leon’s eyes pinned on the floor beneath him. They didn’t say a word, but Milo’s presence was somehow calming. Enough for his mind to slow down for a bit at least.

“Aye, you two lovebirds get a room! You’re disgusting!”, the other man said, and Leon made the mistake to look up to see who he was talking to. Of course, it was _them_. _They_ were all over each other, Leon couldn’t even tell where one body began and the other ended. He expected his heart to burst into pieces again, but apparently, he had exhausted himself too much. He only felt numb. Which was actually great considering the fact, that he really didn’t want to cry in front of anyone today. It was enough for Milo to see him like this.

Luckily they reached the back entrance of Hammerlocke Castle without further incidents. Now they stood there waiting in silence, Leon being too foolish to say anything and Milo trying to respect his privacy. Eventually, the Flying Taxi arrived.

“Thanks for waiting with me, Milo.” He forced himself to smile again, after getting in the Taxi.

“Sure thing.”, his fake smile was meant with an honest one, “And Leon? If you need someone to talk, give me a call, yeah?”

Leon just nodded, but he already knew he wouldn’t take Milo up on his offer. He couldn’t talk to anyone about it. About anything, really. No one would understand. And it was his own fault after all. Maybe one day, when he was over it, he could talk about it like it was a funny story that happened to someone else. But the wounds were too fresh, and he was hurting too much.

* * *

**_5 years earlier_ **

“You’re such a dungus! Fool! Moron! Absolute Idiot!”, Leon screamed at him from the top of his lungs, before breaking out into laughter. Rolling around on his boyfriend’s bed, he almost fell down if the other man hadn’t caught him.

“Well, your absolute idiot.”, Raihan said, sticking out his tongue at him the next second. He pulled Leon onto him and caught him in a tight embrace. Leon was quick to return it, holding Raihan as close as possible. His head upon Raihan’s chest, he was able to hear his heartbeat. Like a lullaby it made him sleepy and he might even have dozed off for a bit, before Raihan softly shook him awake.

“You aren’t ready to sleep yet, babe. First we gotta wash this long hair of yours and then we still have to watch this movie I borrowed from Piers.” Raihan placed a kiss on his forehead, then slowly sat up, taking Leon with him. Honestly, this was rather uncomfortable.

“Okay, okay. ‘m just a lil’ tired, is all.” His voice wasn’t more than a small whisper and him still being cuddled up against his boyfriend’s chest didn’t really help. He could just fall asleep like that again.

“You’re always tired, Lee.” Leon was sure Raihan didn’t mean for his voice to sound this reproachful, but the comment still stung. Of course, he was right. Leon was always tired – given his tight schedule and his non-existent time to get enough sleep that wasn’t a surprise. Usually, Raihan knew and understood that.

He must have given away that the comment had hurt him, because Raihan pulled him closer and run his fingers through his hair. “’m sorry, Lee. Didn’t mean that. I just…”, he sighed, “I really miss spending time with you.” Leon knew that. He felt the same. But what was he supposed to do? Throw away all his duties as the reigning champion? He couldn’t just do that. He had to be responsible. The people of Galar were looking up to him. Disappointing them would not only hurt his image but himself, too.

“I know, Rai. I know, I know. I wish I could spend more time with you, too. I’ll see if maybe I can get a few more weekends of?” Maybe he’d pretend he wasn’t feeling well or needed some time off. Or that he needed to see his family more. Rose would surely understand.

Raihan nodded and both of them finally got out of bed to quickly shower and then finally watch the movie together. In hindsight, Leon would’ve preferred to watch something on the happier side. He had bawled his eyes out and Raihan had had problems providing him with enough handkerchiefs to dry his tears.

“You’re such a softie, Lee.” He knew, Raihan only said this to tease him a little, but the memories of the movie were to fresh in his mind to appreciate that.

“Not my fault you chose something like this! What am I supposed to do? Sit here like a puppet with no emotions whatsoever? This movie was horrible!” And he started crying again. Cool. Maybe he should change his title to Galar’s most beloved and undefeated crybaby. But really, it wasn’t his fault. The whole romance in this movie was bound to end some way or the other. That it would end with the male lead betraying his wife with another woman and the wife not really getting over it, despite trying for years, just had ended him. She had been so sad. And he could understand. If Raihan were ever to do something like this to him, he would break. Not into two pieces. Into a million pieces that he’d be unable to mend together again.

Raihan pulled Leon into a tight hug and rubbed his back in small, comforting motions. “Lee, it’s all good. I know you have your mental cinema going on right now, but you know what? This is never going to happen to you. To us. We’re gonna be together forever, okay? I mean it.”

And in that moment, Leon had chosen to believe it.

* * *

**_Day 0_ **

Hands shaking, Leon closed his locker in Wyndon stadium for the last time. He had lost. He was no longer champion. But what was he when Leon the champion no longer existed? What would he do? He surely was the laughingstock for the whole of Galar now, losing to a mere child. His brother’s rival at that. What would become of him? Surely, the sponsors didn’t have any more use for him. He had some savings, but they wouldn’t last all his life. Sure, he was motivated and wouldn’t mind doing a normal job. But would he even be able to? He didn’t have any talents besides Pokémon battles. Whenever he talked to his mother, he realized he far removed from reality he was. How was he going to fend for himself? Until three days ago, Rose had planned everything in his life. Leon thought that it wouldn’t be too bad being champion without Rose’s help. He had figured he’d be able to do it with a little bit of help. But now he wasn’t champion anymore. And he had nothing.

Well, he still had someone. Raihan. Leon hadn’t seen him at the match, but maybe that was just his eyesight being bad. And he probably didn’t want to bother Leon right after losing his title, so he probably went home. Leon would just drop by and spend the rest of the evening with his boyfriend. That was long due anyway. But with Leon being the champion and Raihan being a gym leader, time wasn’t too easy to come by.

But now… he had unlimited time! He could spend time with Raihan whenever he wanted! That was actually great. His boyfriend had complained a lot in the past about them not being able to meet each other. Maybe they could also finally go public? They had kept their relationship hidden for the past seven years in fear of sponsors and the press not liking it and therefore not supporting them anymore. Everything had changed now. Maybe it had an upside, not being the champion anymore.

In a better mood now, Leon promptly left the stadium and hopped onto his Charizard’s back. He didn’t even need to say where he wanted to go, his partner already knew.

Leon didn’t waste any time to get to Raihan’s apartment after arriving in Hammerlocke. He was a little bit earlier than after most matches, but… well, he didn’t win this one, so that explained the time difference. However, it was weirdly quiet when he entered. Usually, Raihan would sit on the sofa in the living room, watching TV – or at least sleeping in front of the TV – when Leon visited. But there was no one in the living room and no one in the sparely used kitchen. Which only left the bedroom and the bathroom. Maybe he had taken a nap? Then Leon could wake him up and tell him the news himself.

When he opened the door to the bedroom, the first thing he saw wasn’t Raihan, however. It was clothes scattered around the floor and a huge mane of black and white hair on the bed. He didn’t want to open the door any further – his heart already had its suspicions – but he had to make sure. It couldn’t possibly be. Raihan wouldn’t do this to him. He could never –

His heart burst into a million tiny pieces as he took in the scene before him. Piers atop of Raihan. Both of them mostly undressed. Piers kissing Raihan’s neck and Raihan moaning his name. Raihan’s hand found its way to Piers hair and he buried it in the mane, pulling the other gym leader closer, his hips jerking up in need.

It couldn’t be. This couldn’t be happening. Not to him. Not today. Not with Raihan. Why? What did he do wrong? Why did they do this to him? Why would Raihan lie to him like this? How could he hurt him that way?

Leon didn’t know how long he’d been standing there unnoticed, but as an ugly sob left his lips and he wasn’t able to hold back the tears any longer, he had both men’s attention.

“Shit, what’s he doing here?”, and, “Oh no, Lee…”, was what he heard them say at the same time and he just wanted to run. Leave them. Run away from this. Run away from everything. The world. His newfound problems. How was he supposed to handle _this_?! But Leon couldn’t move. He just stood there, crying. Worse than the time they watched that damned movie, because this time it was him it actually happened to and it hurt, it hurt so much and he wanted it to stop and –

He felt a hand on his shoulder and realized that Piers had picked up his clothes and left.

**“Don’t touch me!”** , he shouted at Raihan while shoving him away. Leon wrapped his arms around his body, wanting to protect himself from the conversation that was about to happen. However, he couldn’t stop the crying.

“Lee… shit, you weren’t supposed to see this!”, Raihan started to explain, running a hand through his locks.

“You weren’t supposed to _do_ this! Raihan, you promised! You promised me you wouldn’t. That you’d never… You… you promised…” The tears in his eyes made his vision blurry and he was glad he didn’t have to look at Raihan’s face. Leon’s sobs came more frequently now and he tried wrapping his arms even tighter around himself.

“How long… how long has this been going on?”, he finally asked after a few minutes of the two of them just standing there. He wasn’t sure if he really wanted to hear the answer, though.

“A year and a half. Right about the time my Mum died… he was there for me and you just… you weren’t.” Leon felt like he had been punched in the gut while a knife had simultaneously been thrust into him. He remembered. Raihan begging him to be there for him. Eventually giving up when Leon told him, Rose wouldn’t give him more time off. He had tried to call him as often as possible, but apparently it hadn’t been enough.

He looked up to realize Raihan was also crying. Which only led to Leon crying even more.

“I… I lost today. I came here to tell you we could finally be open about… us.”, he mumbled and wiped away his tears with his hands. A rather useless move, considering his tears just kept falling. “But I guess… I don’t need to tell you anymore.”

The hard gulp that followed from Raihan was audible even through Leon’s sobs. Leon lowered his gaze though, unable to look at his boy- no, _ex_ -boyfriend a second longer.

“Does he make you happy?” It had taken him a lot of effort to ask this question. But he had to know. He had to make sure.

“Yes.”

It hurt. More than all times Raihan had blamed Leon for being tired or never having enough time. More than all of these times combined. It hurt to know another man made his boyfriend happier. Had been making him happy instead of Leon for a long time now. He wanted to be the man always at Raihan’s side. To make him smile. To take care of him. But he had messed up his chance. And now it was too late.

“Do you still love me… even a little bit?”

“No.” It sounded like a lie in Leon’s ears and he was sure Raihan was just saying this to make it easier for Leon. But… it didn’t actually make it easier. Or better. Or easier to bear. It hurt. Everything hurt and Leon just wanted it to stop. How could Raihan just stop loving him? Why didn’t he tell him earlier? Why did he pretend for so long?

“Okay.”, Leon finally said, trying to seem calm and collected. Again, he wiped his tears away. Looking up at Raihan he flashed him a fake smile. “I’m just… gonna go then.”

Without waiting for a reply, Leon made his way out the door. He had to get somewhere he could breathe. Where he didn’t think of Raihan. But there was no such place. His apartment in Wyndon was full of pictures of them together. Stuff Raihan had left there over the years. At home he would be confronted with the consequences of losing his champion title. Only one place to go. Rose Tower.

* * *

**_2 years earlier_ **

Leon was rushing to the castle. Of course, he had to get lost today when he finally had time to meet with Raihan again. But at least he had finally made it. Half an hour late, but better than not at all.

“Sorry, Rai! I got after I went to the Pokémon Center!”, he apologized with a smile on his face. Then he took in how Raihan looked. Defeated. Sad. Had he been crying?

“Rai? What happened?”

“Mum’s sick. She’s not gonna make it, Lee…” Another sob left his boyfriend’s body and he carefully hugged him. But Raihan pushed him away, instead suggesting they go to his apartment. Leon tried to take care of his boyfriend the best he could, but he was kind of cold toward him and didn’t seem to be in a mood to talk. Leon however, was able to understand that. Getting a diagnosis like this wasn’t a thing you just get over. And Raihan loved his mother dearly. After all he knew, they were pretty close.

“Next week they’re gonna send her to the hospital. Will you come to visit her with me?”, Raihan finally asked while they were lying in bed, hugging each other. Leon’s heart tightened when he realized he wouldn’t be able to.

“I’m… I… Rose arranged a meeting between champions of the different regions. We’re going to fly to Sinnoh in two days.”, he said with reluctance in his voice and pulled Raihan closer. However, his boyfriend stopped hugging him at that.

“Oh… okay.” And Leon knew it wasn’t okay. He knew Raihan needed him here. But it couldn’t be helped. He had duties to attend to. That this hurt Raihan more than Leon could ever imagine, was to remain a secret.

* * *

**_Day 60_ **

Leon sat back in his new armchair and let out a huge sigh. This had been an exhausting process, but he was finally finished. He had figured out some weeks ago that his apartment needed some re-doing. He had sent all of Raihan’s stuff back to his apartment in Hammerlocke and started to get rid of old champion stuff he didn’t need anymore. Then he had chosen new colors for his walls and some new furniture to go with it. He’d done everything by himself. The wall painting, building the furniture (after buying it) and deciding where everything was to go. Everything in his home was now made and chosen by him. It had his fingerprints all over it. Instead of pictures of Raihan and him, there now where pictures of his family on the wall. Of him with his Pokémon team. And some photos from trips to other regions he made while he was still champion of Galar. It was refreshing. The process had gotten his mind off things and it had been a nice challenge. Beside working on the battle tower, of course.

The battle tower was almost done as well. It would probably open in one or two weeks, depending on the arrival of the things they needed for the opening ceremony and the training of the staff. Leon was sure it would be a huge success. And of course, he himself would also be able to battle there.

He had finally found a purpose for his life again. Sure, it was still rough – being reminded that he lost the champion title after so many years. Seeing Raihan and Piers flaunting their relationship wherever they went. But he felt fine now. He wasn’t completely over it all yet; no that would take some more time. But at least he didn’t have to cry every time he thought of Raihan. And that was as good as it was going to get. For now.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading!


End file.
